Friday, January 29, 2010

Visiting Uroma

The advantage of going to Florida is that we get to see most of our relatives all in close to one place. When the older relatives can't really travel anymore, it is the only chance we get to see them. It's sad that I only get to see my Grandmother once a year.But the thing is, she wouldn't know the difference, and the visit really depressed me. Am I a bad person for saying that? I actually read back through my post from the visit a year prior and I guess that one made me sad too.Our visit in 2008 my grandmother tried to communicate and say a few words but couldn't was frustrated, the time before she was forgetful but spoke in German. This time, she said "yah" a few times "oh" once I think and did look around a lot, but she didn't say anything.I think it was the confusion and lack of recognition that made me sad. She was happy, I think to have visitors, and she really liked holly, but I mean who wouldn't like a cute baby. I just didn't get the feeling she knew we were all connected to each other.On a happy note, Holly did better then she did last time, sort of. She let her hold her on her lap, but she was a bit tired and grumpy and really just wanted to play on the iPhone so they didn't engage each other much.I got the impression Oma (My grandmother) felt proud to be holding Holly, and she didn't want to let go the first time I tried to take her (I worried she was to heavy) She smiled several times, but mostly her expression was sad.Here we are four generations of woman, I feel lucky that Holly has met her Uroma, I never met any of my Grandparents, Holly in Fact has met and spent some time with 4 Great Grandmothers, and one Great Grandfather. But sadly those numbers are already dwindling.I'm not even sure what it will mean to Holly when she is older, I doubt she will remember them, but I think knowing she knew them, seeing pictures of her great Grandparents, and then hearing the family stories will give her a sense of where she came from of her roots, and I think she will feel lucky too.Its funny, in this picture her my grandmother is looking right at me, almost with a glimmer of something, it makes you wonder what is going on in there, she can't tell us what she is thinking, but I wonder what thoughts she has, what dreams she has.Its amazing how healthy she still is. Like an Ox my mom would say, she is 92 but other then her dementia she is still very strong. I think she is happy, but how do you know?I love her long beautiful hair, I imagine when I am old, perhaps I will wear my hair in a long braid like this, and maybe I will be lucky enough to meet my great grand daughter too.

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