In October we decided to have our book club meeting at Live Oak Park in Berkeley/Albany I wasn't a fan of this idea, worried that I would spend the entire time chasing my little gremlin around rather then discussing the book.
But for this particular month, I actually hadn't read The book in questions, as I had been out of town in New York just before, and preparing for my trip prior to that. So it was an OK Experiment for me.
To be honest it worked out much better then I expected. There was a lot of chasing, but the park was small and enclosed by a fence so she could not escape. Much of the time she was playing in safe areas and I could easily converse.
Since we were set up next to the climbing structure it was easy to hear the conversation while still watching that Holly didn't try and climb off of the edge, and easy to help her go down the slide.
Here she is making friends with one of the other littler babies in attendance, and secretly I think she is trying to steal it's snacks. One of the other mom's brought cantaloupe which was yummy and she had some of that too.
Here is little Miss Madelyn enjoying her snack as well. Some of the time the kids would sit with us in our little circle listening to us talk, then later they would run and play and explore.
Holly's sand toys were a hit. Not only did they keep her busy, but the other kids enjoyed them too, and soon they were scattered all over the park, but that gave her a chance to run and find them and stack them all up together.
There were even a few times when she sat near the group and stirred sand in her bucket and filled it up and dumped it out, which really gave me a chance to pay attention, even though I hadn't read the book, I was interested in the discussion.
That would give me a chance to decide if it was something worth reading and buying later on. Here are Holly and Madelyn sitting on the See-Saw with some older kids. It was nice of them to share with the little ones.
Later they tried to do it on there own, but weren't able to reach the ground so they had Naomi help them and they sat close together facing each other. They had a lot of fun and rocked back and forth just a little.
Here is David and his Mommy playing in the Sand. The book for this month was Our babies, our Selves. It was a very anthropological book discussing different parenting styles all around the world, and how our culture influences our parenting.
For the most part though the group was disappointed, many new of the author previously and she had a very interesting personal story which she mostly excluded from the context of the book, which they though would have helped make it more personal.
All in all we had a lot of fun playing and talking. I have really enjoyed book club. I am glad it is cooler weather and we are back to meeting in the home, in fact I am hosting for December, and this time I am reading the book. Ah, I guess I should also rate this park:
Slides - 1 - There was a fun slide Holly could do holding my hand.
Swings - 1 - Yes there were baby slides on the far side of the park
Surface - 1/2 - Sand, but it wasn't the cleanest, it was the dirt sand
Shade - 1/2 - There was a little bit of shade where we were sitting under a tree but most of the park was very hot and sunny.
Climbing - 1 - The play structure was fun t climb and the See Saw was also fun.
Parking - 1 - Street parking in front of the park.
Bathrooms - 1/2 - There was a community center with a bathroom inside, but these are only open certain hours.
Distance - 1 - Less then 10 minutes from the house.
Friends - 1 - Well our book club friends were there, and while at the park two or three other groups of kids came for a little while.
Fun - 1- We had fun at this park.
Here she is making friends with one of the other littler babies in attendance, and secretly I think she is trying to steal it's snacks. One of the other mom's brought cantaloupe which was yummy and she had some of that too.
Here is little Miss Madelyn enjoying her snack as well. Some of the time the kids would sit with us in our little circle listening to us talk, then later they would run and play and explore.
Holly's sand toys were a hit. Not only did they keep her busy, but the other kids enjoyed them too, and soon they were scattered all over the park, but that gave her a chance to run and find them and stack them all up together.
There were even a few times when she sat near the group and stirred sand in her bucket and filled it up and dumped it out, which really gave me a chance to pay attention, even though I hadn't read the book, I was interested in the discussion.
That would give me a chance to decide if it was something worth reading and buying later on. Here are Holly and Madelyn sitting on the See-Saw with some older kids. It was nice of them to share with the little ones.
Later they tried to do it on there own, but weren't able to reach the ground so they had Naomi help them and they sat close together facing each other. They had a lot of fun and rocked back and forth just a little.
Here is David and his Mommy playing in the Sand. The book for this month was Our babies, our Selves. It was a very anthropological book discussing different parenting styles all around the world, and how our culture influences our parenting.
For the most part though the group was disappointed, many new of the author previously and she had a very interesting personal story which she mostly excluded from the context of the book, which they though would have helped make it more personal.
All in all we had a lot of fun playing and talking. I have really enjoyed book club. I am glad it is cooler weather and we are back to meeting in the home, in fact I am hosting for December, and this time I am reading the book. Ah, I guess I should also rate this park:Slides - 1 - There was a fun slide Holly could do holding my hand.
Swings - 1 - Yes there were baby slides on the far side of the park
Surface - 1/2 - Sand, but it wasn't the cleanest, it was the dirt sand
Shade - 1/2 - There was a little bit of shade where we were sitting under a tree but most of the park was very hot and sunny.
Climbing - 1 - The play structure was fun t climb and the See Saw was also fun.
Parking - 1 - Street parking in front of the park.
Bathrooms - 1/2 - There was a community center with a bathroom inside, but these are only open certain hours.
Distance - 1 - Less then 10 minutes from the house.
Friends - 1 - Well our book club friends were there, and while at the park two or three other groups of kids came for a little while.
Fun - 1- We had fun at this park.
I have been feeling a bit philosophical as of lat so I figured I would write this post. It is something I had been thinking about for a few weeks now, actually ever since I had a conversation with Lorraine about growing up. Just after we danced like teenagers to Bon Jovi at the wedding. You have all seen picture of the play dates at Chloe's and I am sure rather then reading another play by play, you all already know the players and so this post will serve two purposes, an opportunity for me to be reflective, and one for you to browse pictures of holly and her friends. I will preface by saying that Chloe's mom and I had nothing to do at all with the game the girls made up towards the end of the post, we don't help them and they did all the pushing, pulling and climbing all on there own. Enjoy the photos.
What I wanted to talk about today was being a teenager, growing up, taking risks, but really its a post about motherhood I think. It is hard to really get to the heart of the matter, and I am sure the philosophy I am describing won't be everyone;s experience, but it has been mind. I have been thinking of late about what it was like to be a kid, in fact a wild teenager, getting into trouble, experimenting, staying out all night (yes I was one of those teenagers) and I can hear my mother's words, don't you worry, you will get it all back when you have your own kids, and I guess for Holly's sake I hope I do.
See... now I bet you weren't expecting to see that. But it is true, while I love my life now, and would not trade it in for the world, never in my life have I ever experienced so much freedom as when I was a teenager, and the sad thing is, you don't appreciate it when you are young, you don't even know you have it, as you feel trapped by adults, and school, and rules, and pretty much anyone with authority, but it is a personal freedom, that I think as we grow older we loose.
I have been thinking lately on the notion of growing up, and I think there are two sides to it that are often over looked. I think many times people think that growing up means not having fun, not being goofy or silly, or playing. But I think that is a mistake, and I have always said I would never grow up, and in that respect I have been true to my word. I admittedly watch silly teeny bopper movies and TV Shows, I play video games, love rolling around in the grass and the sand and the ball pit with my kid, play fun games with her, tickle and chase her, sing silly songs, make up funny dances, and while I am not the goofiest of people, I was never that "Silly" as a kid either, so I feel like in many ways both Joel and I can be and at times are big kids, and I hope we never loose that.
Finger painting, getting messy, playing int he mud, board games, camping in the back yard, collecting fireflies, believing in fairy tales, those are the parts of being a kid you want to and can actually hold on to, and when you have to be grown up you don't have to loose that. But there is another part that I think you loose, and ultimately I think you have to grow out of to be an adult. This confused me for a long time, because on one hand I felt very grown up and felt like a responsible adult, but on the other hand I felt like a big kid and didn't understand why.
I think it has to do with those teen aged years. All the things above I am talking about really have to do with being a "kid" not a teenager. When you are a teenager you are discovering and experiencing the world, taking risks, being wild, irresponsible, wreckless, careless, and when you are a teenager you can. You don;t have to pay the bills, you don;t have to provide for your family, you don;t have to stay safe for your loved ones, you don;t have to take care of others, and really you can have an utter lack of concern to the consequences of your actions. This I think is freedom, and not every teenager gets to experience it, and even those who do, I think don;t appreciate it at the time, but I feel like this is a time of your life when you can live outrageously and truly burst at the seems and try new things and be crazy, and it is so well.. freeing.
It makes me understand now when some people talk about kids having to grow up too fast, because some kids do have to help pay the bills, put food on the table, take care of a younger sibling, and they never get that chance, that once in a lifetime chance to really be free or society's proclamations about who you should be and what you should be doing and how you should think. They get to rebel. Well at least some of us do. Looking back, I am so grateful for those years, I didn't know it at the time, but I think if I knew what I do now, I might have been even more crazy and irresponsible (gasp) because the window you have to live in this way is short. 
Soon you are in a relationship and someone is counting on you, and then you are out on your own, and you have to put food on your table and pay rent and then eventually it is being a good wife, and balancing an ambitious career, paying a mortgage, and now you have co workers and a boss who is counting on you, and before you know it you are a mother. And well, now you have this life you have to love and protect and teach, and your world really shrinks, and nothing else matters, and you have everything to loose, so you have to be responsible, because the consequences are so great, that the risks aren't worth it.
But for a few moments in your lifetime you are at a place when the consequences are inconsequential, and the risks are worth everything when you can experience life and freedom and you don't have anything to loose. I looking back truly appreciate those times. I wouldn't trade in what other;s might see as mistakes for anything, as they were world experiences, and shaped who I am today, but I also wouldn't go back for anything either, because what I have now has such value, that I wouldn't risk loosing it for anything.
This will sound utterly silly, but an analogy is like becoming a vampire. When you are a teenager, or at least when I was, I imagined that if someone wanted to make me a vampire I would jump at the opportunity, to be immortal, to have that power, that freedom. But today, no way. I would loose the opportunity to be a wife and a mother, and nothing is worth giving that up, to me anyway. And I think that is the difference. I think when one becomes responsible, and people are counting on them, and they have things in there live that they value, a home, a family, that is when you have grown up, because you can no longer take crazy risks, as you may loose the things you love.
So in a way, you can be grown-up, but you can still be a playful kid at heart. You give up part of that childhood, the rebellious teenage youth, but you can still hold on to being a kid. I don't know if any of this will make sense, and I suppose there are those out there who are able to somehow balance being a raver and a mom at the same time, but I think, I am am not trying to be judgemental here, those mom's haven't actually grow up yet, and don't know what they risk loosing.
So I think the last point I want to make is that Yes, for Holly's sake, I hope she gives me back the worry and sleepless nights i gave my parents tenfold, I trust she will come out the other side safe and as long as she survives, I think those experiencing are something you can never have again, and can;t trade in, and I only wish there was some way to help her know that going in so she values them when they are happening, and appreciates them, but if a teenager thought in terms of appreciation and value, they wouldn't be taking risks, and wouldn't be a teenager.
So I think the last point I want to make is that Yes, for Holly's sake, I hope she gives me back the worry and sleepless nights i gave my parents tenfold, I trust she will come out the other side safe and as long as she survives, I think those experiencing are something you can never have again, and can;t trade in, and I only wish there was some way to help her know that going in so she values them when they are happening, and appreciates them, but if a teenager thought in terms of appreciation and value, they wouldn't be taking risks, and wouldn't be a teenager.
I also think a lot of my perspective comes from have a baby in my early 30's I had been married for 10 years, and utterly had oodles of time to be mostly free. I think there are other's who find themselves becoming a mom in there early 20's or even as teenagers, perhaps before they had a chance to experience this freedom, and that must be so difficult, because i think we are drawn to these life experiences, but they have responsibility thrust upon them before they actually had time to grow up, so they try as young parents to balance both, but I think often one part of there life might be lacking the balance they need. So I think in that way I think I feel really lucky that I had this great career and marrage and life before having children, as I can now appreciate motherhood without looking back and ever feeling like i missed out on anything else.
Holly is now known to make herself right at home when we head over to Chloe's. She is so familiar with the toys and the space that she sometimes acts like she owns the place!
Here is Tristan "Pan Handling" for snacks. I got that term from the Feeding book I am reading, supposedly you are supposed to begin to set limits for toddlers and have them only eat snacks sitting down at select times. I'm not ready to make that transition yet, I'm happy if holly eats at anytime.
I love this cute grumpy face that she is making. The Ball she is carrying vibrates when she shakes it. Holly used to be scared of vibrating toys, but it seems that she liked this one, I think its because she has a new admiration for Balls.
Here is little Chloe chewing on her mommy's camera. One of her first words is "see" she says see, see, and wants Katherine to show her pictures of herself on the viewer. It is so very cute. In the background is Magnus whom we usually see at Swimming class so it is fun to see him in a different environment. He can give Holly a run for the money with his activity level, but then again I think he is about 20 months.
There's Teagen in the corner having some milk. Her mom is amazing for bringing her, she is due to have a baby mid August and looks like she is about to burst, but we love seeing Rhonda and Teagan at the play dates.
Here Joshua is playing with David. When Joshua wanders off, Holly takes his place. We had a rather large group this week and the kids had to climb all over each other to get from one toy to the next.
Tristan and Maya are having a great time playing with the bubble gum machine here. This picture makes Tristan look so big. Maya is 18 months to his 12, but boys are usually bigger.
This is Jake. Last time we saw him he was only ten months old and we were at a park in Fremont, near where his mom lives. She newly joined this group, it was such a coincidence to see them again. He also brought with her a friend and her baby too.
The kids had so much fun playing. Here is Gabriel reaching over to check out the activity center Holly is exploring, he is on the verge of waling here.. Just a few more weeks. As usual, our play date with Chloe was loads of fun!
A few weeks ago we had a pool party at Chloe's House.
Holly was tentative at first, unsure of water in this new format.
She wasn't in Mommy's arm's like the Pool. She wasn't safe in her tub with her toys and warm cosy water.
She was surrounded by friends and splashing and cool water in the warm sun.
She spent a lot of time hovering around the edge, curious of the pool and sprinklers, feet in the grass testing the waters.
Thatcher is checking out one of the pools here, he isn't yet a fan, but his Mommy is taking him to swim classes so he can join us at the pool sometime soon.
Holly was in and out of the water lathered in sunscreen most of the afternoon.
Tristan wasn't much of a fan either, and his mommy stepped on a bee so she couldn't sit by the pool with him.
Chloe however is such a water baby. She found her spot in the sprinkle pool and never looked back.
David was also quite a fan, but he loved to run in and out of the water and splash and play.
Maya had a lot of fun in the water too. I love her little rag top bathing suit, helps protect her from the sun. 
It inspired me to get a new suit for Holly to wear out doors. I love this one, but I worry that she will get toasted in the sun like her Mommy.
After splashing and playing we put Holly and Chloe into a pool together and by then she was used to the water and had a blast.
In the end it was just the three girls holding out. Ruby is here with her Mommy resting in the shade.
She played peek-a-boo with the girls by raising and lowering the sun guard, they had a lot of fun.
We can;t wait to have more pool parties with Chloe.
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