This has been a very busy week for us. On Monday I attended a Positive Parenting workshop at http://www.bananasinc.org/ Banana’s, which is a great organization, BTW if you are local. It is a 6 week session, no babies. The first night Joel stayed home with Holly, as I originally thought she could come but found out last minute there is onsite childcare but it was “full” when I arrived there was plenty of room for her, but it was too late by then, so next week Joel will be attending with me, and we will see how Holly handles being away from Mom and dad for about 90 minutes, playing in the next room. The class is lead by an MFT and there are about 15-20 parents. We basically talk about parenting in a positive way, like rather than saying No all the time, say hands in lap, or redirecting. It is a very interactive workshop and the group has kids from 7 weeks to 8 years old and each has different issues they bring to the table to talk about. I look forward to future sessions.
One of the reasons I am also looking forward to this, is from what I have heard about the Spirited Child Series. The other mom’s like to call Holly Busy, and Active, but I can tell already her temperament is “spirited” so I am hoping to learn many discipline strategies now before I need them, so I can set them in place and well be proactive, because I’m like that. But I fear it may be too late in some cases already. I guess that’s why they say the first baby is your practice child.
On Tuesday I had a WASC Review which was sorta fun, as usual I enjoy doing the academic and educational stuff, just to keep me on my toes. This week I also got around to doing my taxes which was crazy, as I thought I was prepared, and I thought I scheduled the appointment at a time when Holly would be napping, but things didn’t work out how I planned. First I didn’t realize I needed her SSN, and I didn’t have it memorized, well I had, but wasn’t sure, and I thought my mom had it but she couldn’t find it, so I had to call Joel to go home and get it. Which was lucky because I found out you could deduct the cost of daycare, but I needed the tax ID number, and a few other items. In the end I got it done and filed so I was excited. But Holly was not asleep, so speaking of a “spirited” child. What was supposed to take me about 30-45 minutes actually ended up being 90 and Holly cruised and crawled and explored all over the H&R Block office. My tax Guy joked to a colleague that he was a babysitter tonight, as several times he had to hold Holly as I searched for some paper work or called Joel for information, and even more times than that he had to help pick up the many toys she threw off the desk onto the floor, or the other stuff she decided to drop. The other clients were also very amused and she wandered over to say Hi and explore the office. It certainly was a preview of what is to come, once she can actually walk, I swear I will need a leash.
We have made good progress on the eating front, or at least I have been. Joel has been able to feed Holly Yogurt in the morning, at least a half container usually, but he has not had any luck with other feedings. I on the other hand have gotten her to eat entire jars. Just this week at one feeding Joel gave up after about 5 bites of Pear/Blueberry and 20 minutes later I tried and Holly ate ½ container of Pear/Blueberry, finishing it, and then an entire container of Spinach Potatoes. Joel was in shock. I read an article the other day, which reassured me I was on track. It mentioned a few strategies I have been using, and they seem to be working. One is letting her hold her own spoon. I had started that months ago, but it was nice to see it in print. The next is to distract her with finger foods. While she is busy picking up and trying to eat them, you can slip in bites of food between, and she gets to practice her fine motor skills. Finally it suggested letting her practice with a Sippy cup, and feeding between sips. I have only tried that a few times, but will continue as she begins to understand that she can get liquid and its good.
I thought I was bribing her to eat, but Joel says I am rewarding her. My most successful strategies is using puffs. I give her the first few bites, which she almost always takes without resistance, and then she begins to shake her head no. So I show her a puff, and say, Holly if you want this puff you need to take a bite. She tries to grab it and I don’t give it to her, I repeat, and then she usually opens wide and I give her a spoon. Sometimes I say two bites, or three, depending on if it is food she like more or less, and then give her the puff. When Joel was feeding her the other day he realized that I taught her open without realizing it. He wasn’t really saying it and then said it by accident and she opened for him. So now he tries to say it more, but she doesn’t always want to open. I think Joel is less constant and gives in and gives her puffs anyways, so she knows he doesn’t mean business. So I assumed I was bribing her with Puffs, but Joel says it is rewarding her for doing the behavior I want, taking a bite, and it is a great way to get her to eat.
She is also slowly expanding her repertoire. We had Mac and Cheese Veggie Dinner the other day which she liked, and she is eating some pasta, and really beginning to like cheese. Next week I am going to give her salmon and peanut butter (not together) based on an article I read about how the Salmon can help prevent allergies, and how you should start peanut butter early, rather than later. But I will give it to her on a cracker though, as a glob of peanut butter is a choking hazard.
The other thing we are doing is mild sleep training. It’s a Hybrid we made up between the cry it out and no tears method. Another article I read say the trade off is time or crying. If you have a lot of time to get your child to learn to fall asleep on her own, like weeks then eventually the no-tears method will work, but if you need your child to learn in a week or a few nights even, then you get a lot of crying, but it happens fast. We just spoke with a family who did this and said it took only three nights. Night one was an hour of crying, night two thirty minutes and night three only a few. Now there son is sleeping on his own. Well we certainly can’t stand to have holly cry even 5-10 minutes, so that won’t work for us, but a little whining, and 1-2 minutes of crying is ok. So we have been putting her in the crib and she plays, for about 20 minutes and then wines, if she is whining we let her continue, once it turns into a cry we go in but do not pick her up (at first at least) usually I can calm her by rubbing her back and “hugging” her as she stands on the rail of the crib. But she reaches up wanting me to pick her up, and even that is heart breaking. I mostly make Joel go in, as she whines to him a lot, but isn’t as desperate and having a crying fit usually. She gets pretty sleepy and he had a lot of hope that this would eventually work. We do this for about an hour. Starting at 10:00 usually at that point, I pick her up and we have watched Baby Einstein and she falls asleep within minutes.
But this is the thing, getting her to fall asleep on her own is secondary to getting her to bed the same time every night. So the other thing we have done is try and create a bedtime routine. Bath (some nights) some Baby Einstein or playtime in Mommy’s lap. After 9:00 most nights we try not to let her crawl and cruise around on her own, as it keeps her keyed up. We tried story time, but the books seem to rile her up, as she gets excited about turning the pages, so we have tried “telling” her a story and singing a song. Then by 10:00 I give her a bottle in bed with me, and hope she falls asleep. Some nights she does, some she is settled, and if I rub her back and head a few minutes she falls asleep. If she is in an active mood where she wants to jump up and won’t stay in bed, then we put her in the crib, and do the “hybrid” method from above. So far we haven’t gotten her to bed by 10:00, but most nights now she is asleep by 11:00. So my question is, is that her natural bedtime, and I need to move late afternoon napes up, or cut them out, or do we need to move up our start time to 8:00 if we want her down at 10:00. I suppose if I can get her to bed at 11:00 every night and then slowly move it earlier, it’s a start. What I plan on doing after a few days of this working well is maybe feed her in the rocker instead of the bed and when she is sleepy but not asleep put her in the crib and see how that works. Oh and yes, lastly we are no longer letting her sleep-in in the morning, mostly. We try and wake her every morning at 8:00 AM. That means though, that Joel has to be awake, so it has been 8:00, 8:30, 8:45 some days, but we are working on it. I think a morning routine is also necessary for her to take her morning nap and be productive at Therapy., so I am in process of creating an entire daily schedule for a guideline, I don’t plan on being stringent, but having it written out helps remind us what the routine should be, even if we don’t follow it every day.
On Friday we went to swimming and had a blast as usual. Holly is starting to not like being tossed up in the air. She used to love it, it was her favorite part of swimming. We would jump up and down when the windows on the bus went up and down. I try it but then sometimes she makes a face that tells me she isn’t having fun, so then I don’t jump up any more after that or let go. I still lift her just above my head, and she still likes that. Maybe she is cold. It is hard to tell. After swimming I was on my way to get a new toy for Holly off of Craigslist, it is a Giraffe that you put a ball into the mouth and it twirls around and drops out of one of four exits. It was only 10$ but it didn’t have any of the balls. I thought our Bubble Gum balls would fit, but they are a little too big, so we need to get some smaller ones. The toy is normally like 39.99$ though, so it is still a good deal I think. It ended up being the same person I got the exersaucer from a while back. Well anyways, on my way I was stopped at a light and I had called my mom and a cop pulled up at the other light. I hung up when the light changed green, but a few minutes later he pulled me over anyway. He said it was from talking on the phone, California is pushing a zero tolerance policy and I said, well I wasn’t driving, I was stopped at the light I didn’t realize that wasn’t ok. He said, well you are also not wearing your seat belt. So he gave me a ticket for that. Well I am short, 5 foot, and the seat belt basically cuts across my neck and face and is dangerous to wear, so I show him, and say what do I do? Can I wear it behind my back or under my arm, and he says no that is also against the law. And I have to by one of those seat belt adjustment things, but in the mean time, he can’t tell me not to wear it, but I should do what is safest for me, and he will drive off before I leave. So he basically told me not to wear it. Go figure, so now I have to figure out how much the ticket is for.
We also had Xray's done and went to UC Davis Mind Institute this week, I will update you on this tomorrow.
One of the reasons I am also looking forward to this, is from what I have heard about the Spirited Child Series. The other mom’s like to call Holly Busy, and Active, but I can tell already her temperament is “spirited” so I am hoping to learn many discipline strategies now before I need them, so I can set them in place and well be proactive, because I’m like that. But I fear it may be too late in some cases already. I guess that’s why they say the first baby is your practice child.On Tuesday I had a WASC Review which was sorta fun, as usual I enjoy doing the academic and educational stuff, just to keep me on my toes. This week I also got around to doing my taxes which was crazy, as I thought I was prepared, and I thought I scheduled the appointment at a time when Holly would be napping, but things didn’t work out how I planned. First I didn’t realize I needed her SSN, and I didn’t have it memorized, well I had, but wasn’t sure, and I thought my mom had it but she couldn’t find it, so I had to call Joel to go home and get it. Which was lucky because I found out you could deduct the cost of daycare, but I needed the tax ID number, and a few other items. In the end I got it done and filed so I was excited. But Holly was not asleep, so speaking of a “spirited” child. What was supposed to take me about 30-45 minutes actually ended up being 90 and Holly cruised and crawled and explored all over the H&R Block office. My tax Guy joked to a colleague that he was a babysitter tonight, as several times he had to hold Holly as I searched for some paper work or called Joel for information, and even more times than that he had to help pick up the many toys she threw off the desk onto the floor, or the other stuff she decided to drop. The other clients were also very amused and she wandered over to say Hi and explore the office. It certainly was a preview of what is to come, once she can actually walk, I swear I will need a leash.
We have made good progress on the eating front, or at least I have been. Joel has been able to feed Holly Yogurt in the morning, at least a half container usually, but he has not had any luck with other feedings. I on the other hand have gotten her to eat entire jars. Just this week at one feeding Joel gave up after about 5 bites of Pear/Blueberry and 20 minutes later I tried and Holly ate ½ container of Pear/Blueberry, finishing it, and then an entire container of Spinach Potatoes. Joel was in shock. I read an article the other day, which reassured me I was on track. It mentioned a few strategies I have been using, and they seem to be working. One is letting her hold her own spoon. I had started that months ago, but it was nice to see it in print. The next is to distract her with finger foods. While she is busy picking up and trying to eat them, you can slip in bites of food between, and she gets to practice her fine motor skills. Finally it suggested letting her practice with a Sippy cup, and feeding between sips. I have only tried that a few times, but will continue as she begins to understand that she can get liquid and its good.I thought I was bribing her to eat, but Joel says I am rewarding her. My most successful strategies is using puffs. I give her the first few bites, which she almost always takes without resistance, and then she begins to shake her head no. So I show her a puff, and say, Holly if you want this puff you need to take a bite. She tries to grab it and I don’t give it to her, I repeat, and then she usually opens wide and I give her a spoon. Sometimes I say two bites, or three, depending on if it is food she like more or less, and then give her the puff. When Joel was feeding her the other day he realized that I taught her open without realizing it. He wasn’t really saying it and then said it by accident and she opened for him. So now he tries to say it more, but she doesn’t always want to open. I think Joel is less constant and gives in and gives her puffs anyways, so she knows he doesn’t mean business. So I assumed I was bribing her with Puffs, but Joel says it is rewarding her for doing the behavior I want, taking a bite, and it is a great way to get her to eat.
She is also slowly expanding her repertoire. We had Mac and Cheese Veggie Dinner the other day which she liked, and she is eating some pasta, and really beginning to like cheese. Next week I am going to give her salmon and peanut butter (not together) based on an article I read about how the Salmon can help prevent allergies, and how you should start peanut butter early, rather than later. But I will give it to her on a cracker though, as a glob of peanut butter is a choking hazard.
The other thing we are doing is mild sleep training. It’s a Hybrid we made up between the cry it out and no tears method. Another article I read say the trade off is time or crying. If you have a lot of time to get your child to learn to fall asleep on her own, like weeks then eventually the no-tears method will work, but if you need your child to learn in a week or a few nights even, then you get a lot of crying, but it happens fast. We just spoke with a family who did this and said it took only three nights. Night one was an hour of crying, night two thirty minutes and night three only a few. Now there son is sleeping on his own. Well we certainly can’t stand to have holly cry even 5-10 minutes, so that won’t work for us, but a little whining, and 1-2 minutes of crying is ok. So we have been putting her in the crib and she plays, for about 20 minutes and then wines, if she is whining we let her continue, once it turns into a cry we go in but do not pick her up (at first at least) usually I can calm her by rubbing her back and “hugging” her as she stands on the rail of the crib. But she reaches up wanting me to pick her up, and even that is heart breaking. I mostly make Joel go in, as she whines to him a lot, but isn’t as desperate and having a crying fit usually. She gets pretty sleepy and he had a lot of hope that this would eventually work. We do this for about an hour. Starting at 10:00 usually at that point, I pick her up and we have watched Baby Einstein and she falls asleep within minutes.
But this is the thing, getting her to fall asleep on her own is secondary to getting her to bed the same time every night. So the other thing we have done is try and create a bedtime routine. Bath (some nights) some Baby Einstein or playtime in Mommy’s lap. After 9:00 most nights we try not to let her crawl and cruise around on her own, as it keeps her keyed up. We tried story time, but the books seem to rile her up, as she gets excited about turning the pages, so we have tried “telling” her a story and singing a song. Then by 10:00 I give her a bottle in bed with me, and hope she falls asleep. Some nights she does, some she is settled, and if I rub her back and head a few minutes she falls asleep. If she is in an active mood where she wants to jump up and won’t stay in bed, then we put her in the crib, and do the “hybrid” method from above. So far we haven’t gotten her to bed by 10:00, but most nights now she is asleep by 11:00. So my question is, is that her natural bedtime, and I need to move late afternoon napes up, or cut them out, or do we need to move up our start time to 8:00 if we want her down at 10:00. I suppose if I can get her to bed at 11:00 every night and then slowly move it earlier, it’s a start. What I plan on doing after a few days of this working well is maybe feed her in the rocker instead of the bed and when she is sleepy but not asleep put her in the crib and see how that works. Oh and yes, lastly we are no longer letting her sleep-in in the morning, mostly. We try and wake her every morning at 8:00 AM. That means though, that Joel has to be awake, so it has been 8:00, 8:30, 8:45 some days, but we are working on it. I think a morning routine is also necessary for her to take her morning nap and be productive at Therapy., so I am in process of creating an entire daily schedule for a guideline, I don’t plan on being stringent, but having it written out helps remind us what the routine should be, even if we don’t follow it every day.
On Friday we went to swimming and had a blast as usual. Holly is starting to not like being tossed up in the air. She used to love it, it was her favorite part of swimming. We would jump up and down when the windows on the bus went up and down. I try it but then sometimes she makes a face that tells me she isn’t having fun, so then I don’t jump up any more after that or let go. I still lift her just above my head, and she still likes that. Maybe she is cold. It is hard to tell. After swimming I was on my way to get a new toy for Holly off of Craigslist, it is a Giraffe that you put a ball into the mouth and it twirls around and drops out of one of four exits. It was only 10$ but it didn’t have any of the balls. I thought our Bubble Gum balls would fit, but they are a little too big, so we need to get some smaller ones. The toy is normally like 39.99$ though, so it is still a good deal I think. It ended up being the same person I got the exersaucer from a while back. Well anyways, on my way I was stopped at a light and I had called my mom and a cop pulled up at the other light. I hung up when the light changed green, but a few minutes later he pulled me over anyway. He said it was from talking on the phone, California is pushing a zero tolerance policy and I said, well I wasn’t driving, I was stopped at the light I didn’t realize that wasn’t ok. He said, well you are also not wearing your seat belt. So he gave me a ticket for that. Well I am short, 5 foot, and the seat belt basically cuts across my neck and face and is dangerous to wear, so I show him, and say what do I do? Can I wear it behind my back or under my arm, and he says no that is also against the law. And I have to by one of those seat belt adjustment things, but in the mean time, he can’t tell me not to wear it, but I should do what is safest for me, and he will drive off before I leave. So he basically told me not to wear it. Go figure, so now I have to figure out how much the ticket is for.We also had Xray's done and went to UC Davis Mind Institute this week, I will update you on this tomorrow. 
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1 comment:
I really love the shirt Holly is wearing in that last picture, it's really pretty. xx
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